“What I’m about to share has been the most freeing realization in my adult life.
I am a mirror. I am a mirror to my kids. I reflect who they are back to them. And as their mirror, I look at them first. And what I see in them, I reflect back to them. And I see greatness… I see pure hearts… I see smiles and I see love.
Kids are smart, extremely smart. And their souls are sensitive, extremely sensitive. They KNOW if you’re proud or disappointed in them. They pay attention to your words, the tone they’re spoken in and even the pauses between them. They study the expressions on your face and the shape of your eyes. You can’t fool them. Every kid knows how their parent feels about them.
And here’s the thing… If your approval of your child has any connection to their “performance”…. you are an insecure parent. You have never known unconditional love. You have never had someone who believes in you.
Some of our religious parents are looking into a broken God for their reflection. Jehovah isn’t a loving father. Jehovah is an insecure tyrant just like the broken men who created him.
There are millions of beautiful kids out there who are looking in dirty and broken mirrors. And they think it’s them, when really it’s the mirror who’s broken. The kids are fine. They don’t need fixing.
To reflect greatness back to your kids, you must first see the greatness in you. It wasn’t until my adulthood that I started to see myself clearly. I thought of myself as a 5, but others said, “No Mike, you’re a 10 in every way.” Do you know how healing that is? Do you know how empowering that is?
Everyone has greatness in them. Whether you see it or not depends on the clearness of the mirrors around you. Be a clear mirror… especially to your kids. :-)”
– Mike Myers
Yes, we are a mirror in which others see a reflection of ourselves. As he put it, in order for us to reflect greatness to others, we need to see greatness in ourselves first. This relates to a similar message Jim Palmer shared in his recent blog – that by healing ourselves, we heal others too. Similarly, when we learn to see greatness in ourselves, we can reflect greatness back to others.
From the parent-child perspective, this is especially important, because children grow up mirroring the same things they see in their parents. For those of us who grow up in broken or dysfunctional families (as every family is dysfunctional in some ways), whether we have parents who are emotionally or physically absent, or who are even abusive towards us, we can trace back to the roots of their mistreatment – they would have experienced brokenness in themselves, and missed seeing the greatness in themselves, hence we have inadvertently become the unfortunate recipients of their mistreatments.
However, with the insights obtained through our experiences and our meditation as we breathe and look deeply into the nature of things, we begin to understand life with regard to our mirror reflection to one another. We can then take appropriate steps to create a new reality – it is never too late to realise and learn the truths, so as to change the course of things, determinedly focusing on healing ourselves and overcoming self-rejection, so that not only we rise up from the hurtful past to embrace life with greater peace and fortitude, we will also impact others – our loved ones, our future generations, and whoever else with whom we will interact at some points in time – with our inner peace and strength.